Aunt Vadge: I bled after fingering, but now there’s a lump – what is it?

Hi Aunt Vadge, 

Bleeding after fingering
Sore when sitting down
Bleeding stopped after a day or so
But found a lump/tear on the inside wall

Best,
Lumpy
______

Hi there Lumpy,

I would just let this heal by itself – there seems to be damage by your lover’s fingers, which will heal up without issue (most likely). Just give it some time, and be gentle. No fingers, toys, penises, tampons, near your vagina. It might be really sore when you urinate, so if this is the case, just take a cup of warm water with you to the toilet and pour it over your vulva as you pee. This will dilute the acidic urine as your vulva heals.

It’s really important that you and your lover are clear about what should be happening to your vagina – if it ever hurts during sex play, it’s being done wrong. Sit down with your lover and talk it over, and bring Fingering Basics to the table for a chat about what has gone wrong. Read it together, or send a copy to your lover.

Bleeding and wounds after what is supposed to be pleasurable experience means you are allowing things to happen to you that are damaging your tissue, because your lover is being too rough and hurting you. The only way to solve that is to figure out what you like together, but you need to be able to say “that hurts” or “that feels weird”, and then try something else.

If after a few more days the lump hasn’t gone down or is painful, bleeds or is otherwise unusual, you will need to see someone to be examined. Until then, you should be ok. Happy fingering!

Write anytime.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge