Hi Aunt Vadge, 

I was fingered two weekends in a row and after both times their penis touched the outside of my vagina. What are the chances of being pregnant? Because ever since the first time, I have had lower back pain, cramps and occasionally sore boobs. My period isn’t due for another two weeks, but they are irregular. 

Sincerely,
Maybe Baby

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Hi Maybe Baby,

A penis touching the outside of your vagina cannot get you pregnant. A penis with pre-ejaculate fluid or semen on it possibly can get you pregnant, but it is unlikely if the penis only touched the outside of your vagina, though technically not impossible.

Read this article on pre-ejaculate fluid so you understand it. If semen was rubbed into the outside of your vagina, things become slightly more likely, but the sperm would have had to be in contact with fertile cervical fluid, then swum all the way to your cervix into the uterus, and up to the fallopian tube. It’s kind of a long way and all the planets would have to be aligned to get you pregnant this way. It just seems unlikely, though certainly not impossible – just improbable. You would have to have been ovulating (or around it by five or so days) to get pregnant.

If you have irregular periods, it is more likely that your lower back pain, cramps and sometimes sore boobs are from hormonal fluctuations. A sore back, cramping and sore boobs aren’t really the clues for early pregnancy, though sore boobs may develop after several weeks of being pregnant. Lower back pain certainly isn’t an early pregnancy sign.

Take an early pregnancy test at around the time you would normally get your period, or at any time really – they are pretty sensitive tests these days and you can tell quite early on.

To avoid worry about getting pregnant all the time, learn about your cycle, and try to find some herbs that will help to get your hormones into a regular pattern. Once in a regular pattern, you can then determine with more clarity when you are ovulating (and fertile), and when you don’t need to worry. We are cyclic creatures, and there is only actually a small window in which we can get pregnant, and you need to know when those windows are.

Also, penises rubbing on your labia isn’t really a good way to get pregnant! They wouldn’t recommend it at how-to-get-pregnant school, that’s for sure. I think you’re safe, but in future, you need to know about this stuff, so educate yourself on your fertility. It’s super interesting!

Write back anytime.

Warmest regards
Aunt Vadge

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