Hi Aunt Vadge, 

I want to know why I can feel only pain when I finger myself with two fingers. Have I still got my hymen?

Today I decided to take out my virginity. For a long time I have put a finger in during masturbation, and it felt normal. But today I put a carrot with lubricant and it took a long time to get into my vagina completely, and hurt a lot. It felt like there was something around it that made it a lot harder.

Then I put two fingers, which I tried before but couldn’t, now I can, but it didn’t felt pleasant at all. The only way I reach orgasm is masturbation. It didn’t bleed during all of that.

Have I still got my hymen? And could I have a problem with my vagina?

Yours sincerely,
Confused
 Age: 18 
Country: Brazil

_____

Dear Confused,

There are a few things that could be happening. Let’s start with the simplest first.

Your vagina isn’t turned-on enough

This can happen when you are just starting to use your vagina in a more ‘full’ way, i.e. by using objects to penetrate yourself. You discover just what the inside feels like, and if you are not really turned on, your vagina can be quite tight. This can cause pain, as the pressure of your muscles pushes on the object, trying to keep it out of your vagina.

The vagina is naturally in a state of tension, but it is very flexible under the right conditions. Getting your vagina is a penetrable state takes practice to perfect, so if this is the cause of your pain, then you need to keep practising. Try smaller objects, and push them further inside as is comfortable, and see what feels good to you. Keep larger items for later.

Make sure you are really turned on before you try to put anything inside your vagina, and use lube so it doesn’t get stuck. Don’t push against yourself if it hurts – just wiggle the item, try a different angle, or try again later. If it becomes clear that there is a structure that you are hitting and it hurts, it might be something else.

The HymenYour hymen still partially exists

Your hymen is actually at the very base of your vagina, at the opening, and if you have successfully been using a finger to masturbate previously, it’s likely that your hymen doesn’t really exist anymore in a way that would cause pain. If it did, you would feel the pain around the vaginal entrance that may radiate a bit, not deep inside.

Read the article about the hymen for more information – the hymen is a membrane that essentially stretches out, but they can be thick, and vary in terms of what percentage of coverage of your vaginal opening it covers.

You have an anatomical abnormality

There is also the possibility that you have some structures inside your vagina (a septum) that are not supposed to be there, that your fingers or the carrot are pushing against, which would cause pain. These are called either a transverse vaginal septum (which is a horizontal structure going from one side to the other about halfway or so up your vagina) or a longitudinal vaginal septum (which splits your vagina in two, effectively).

Anatomical abnormalities like this are more common than you might think, and are never usually discovered until this very moment where you try to put something inside your vagina, and it causes you pain or bleeding.

This is a little more difficult to figure out by yourself, so I would eliminate the other two possibilities before taking the time to investigate a possible septum. There are other anatomical abnormalities that it could also be, which tend to be a little bit more serious, such as the partial vagina – where the top end of your vagina does not exist or is not formed properly. This could also cause you pain, though with these abnormalities, there are other problems that go with them which you would need to discuss with a doctor.

Get someone to take a look inside

If you are concerned after a while of trying to penetrate without success, and always with pain, then please visit a doctor or sexual health clinic to be examined. They will immediately be able to see if you are normal, and help you figure out what is causing the pain. If you have access to it, you could even go immediately and put your mind at ease, and get on with the practising, or if necessary, dealing with anything that is found.

You are probably completely normal though! It is a funny little journey getting to know your vagina and putting things inside of it – keep investigating.

Write anytime.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

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