Hi there Aunt Vadge,
Is it possible if I have vaginal dryness that I can make my partners penis dry after having intercorce only one time in the last week? My partner says it’s sticky and I am making his penis sore because I am so dry inside. He also has dry patch on the head of his penis, and the rim around the head is all red and sore underneath.
Could this be from me? He says it’s because my pH is off and my vagina is acidic he even said it irritated the split cuticles on his fingers. I suspect he was unfaithful – he was away from home for a week, and when came back we had sex once, and attempted a second time, and now he’s too sore and can’t continue. Could his sore penis be a result of extensive cheating and the real reason he has dry skin or could a pH imbalance be the cause?
Sticky and Suspicious
Canada, Age 37
Dear Sticky and Suspicious,
Here are our thoughts:
A dry vagina can cause friction damage – soreness and irritated skin
We are absolutely unable to say why your partner has dry patches on his penis and a sore penis with any certainty, but it does seem completely plausible that your self-confessed dry vagina may be the cause, as he is telling you it is. Dry friction is very damaging to penises and vaginas, as you well know.
A sore vag occurs if you vagina is even a little bit dry during sex, because it pulls and grabs and rubs all the wrong directions – the tissue is delicate. This happens to penises too – they are not magic or immune to damage. Penises get all sorts of weird stuff happen to them, but usually we never know about it.
One boyfriend I had blew out in red blotches on his lower stomach and penis days after sex with me on top, because he was sensitive to my very, very minor yeast infection, but of course my psycho lady brain was thinking (before he Dr. Googled it), “Who have you been fucking! What is this disease!” – completely unreasonable, at least in that particular case. Go figure. (Never happened before in my life despite ongoing yeasty vag and multiple sex partners.)
Things get weird sometimes! Jumping to terrible conclusions is really damaging to your relationship and trust, so get the facts and deal with what’s in front of you first before leaping into the deep end of cheatersville. It’s not a nice place.
Why the dry vagina?
You need to address why your vagina is dry. If you have an underlying condition that is affecting your pH, then you need to find out what it is. A dry vagina at 37 isn’t normally a thing for no particular reason. EXCEPT, of course, if your vagina dried up because you suspect your partner of cheating on you… That would dry up anyone’s vagina quicksmart, along with making you cranky and unreasonable. Obviously this cheating thing hasn’t just appeared out of nowhere.
The cheating partner conundrum
You need to resolve the cheating partner thing, one way or another. If you truly believe your partner has been cheating on you, sore, dry penis aside (it is not evidence of anything at all – since when does a week of sex cause a dry, sore penis? He’s doing it all wrong!), then deal with it accordingly. If not, you have no other option than to trust him, and accept responsibility for your dry vagina and be a bit more compassionate for his sore cock!