Hi Aunt Vadge,

My boyfriend started fingering my vagina when I was 14. At first, it didn’t bleed, but one day I was on top of him and he was fingering me, and I saw blood on his finger. Did he break my hymen? Does this mean it won’t bleed if his penis enters my vagina? 

Yours sincerely,
Confused
Chicago, Age 15

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Hi Confused,

If your boyfriend has been fingering you before without any bleeding or pain, it seems unlikely that the blood has come from your hymen, but it’s not impossible.

You should get a mirror and have a look at your vagina and see what it looks like. Read our hymen article, and also get your boyfriend to take a look – he should know what he is poking around at, as it’s possible that he has damaged your skin and caused bleeding.

Could it have been your period?

You and your boyfriend should read the Fingering Basics for Men together all the way to the end, so you both know what you should expect from the experience. Sometimes damage occurs accidentally, sometimes you get your period unexpectedly, and sometimes your hymen can have bits left, and a vigorous fingering can cause some bleeding.

If the bleeding continues other times, it may pay to adjust your fingering practices (be gentle!) and figure out what the problem is. If you were worried, please go to your nearest sexual health clinic (there is usually a free service around) and ask to be examined. They will know straight away what is wrong.

Otherwise, happy fingering!

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

 

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