Aunt Vadge: When my penis goes into my lover’s vagina, I ejaculate too quickly – help!

Hi Aunt Vadge,

I always get more sexual appetite when my penis enters my lover’s vagina, and this makes me ejaculate faster. What should I do?

Best,
Hungry Guy
_____

Dear Hungry Guy,

This is a really normal response to stimulation of the penis in the exciting event that it gets to enter a delicious vagina, and is called premature ejaculation. There are a few ways to get through this, but it is going to take time, and practice in controlling your ejaculation. This is a muscle, nerve, and brain training exercise.

Because we deal in vaginas, we aren’t really set up for giving advice about penises, so your best bet is to look online for the best training programs for premature ejaculation. There are many resources available free online for men, plus forums with millions of men who have the same problem – it’s common, and you can overcome it with practice and patience.

Your lover will need to help you too, and while we all want to get to the good sex, sometimes it just doesn’t work straight away, so we need to be patient, loving and kind. This is not a problem as much as an opportunity to learn more about each other, get each other off in different ways, and learn how to be a skilled lover. We all have to learn how to do this – nobody is an expert. Your goal is to give your lover sexual satisfaction, as well as yourself, so if that is the goal, it is achievable without your penis being inside her vagina, at least not until it can cope with such excitement!

Read our articles on Sex 101, fingering basics, and how to go down on a woman, so you can – while you practice – find other ways to get your lover off. You can also use sex toys – they are really great and do things penises just can’t do! Like vibrate, bend, and other fantastic things.

Sorry I couldn’t be more help, but it’s not really my area.

Write anytime.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge