This idea is a stupid myth – that somehow sex makes a woman’s vagina looser (it doesn’t – the vagina is stretchy and elastic), and that a virgin is tight, and thus sex is better for the guy. It’s not true. A woman can have a very tight vagina after having a lot of sex. In fact, many sex workers have the tightest vaginas out, because they use them so much and the muscles are very well developed. Their control is amazing!
Sex with a virgin may seem ‘tighter’ around a penis if she is tense and anxious, and possibly a hymen to push through (which is going to hurt her), but this doesn’t make sex better – sex with a person who is happy and open, relaxed and turned on, is always better sex. Sex with an anxious person is most likely to be bad sex! This applies to both guys and girls. If a guy is nervous, however, he may have problems getting an erection, whereas girls don’t have any such protective mechanism, except to tense up, making her body and vagina tight.
If sex hurts either of you, you’re doing it wrong. If you or your partner – guy or girl – has never had penetrative sex before or is new to sex, it can be really nerve-wracking, and being tense is going to make it hurt. So be kind, be gentle, and go slow. There is no hurry.
So, the answer is a big fat no. Sex with a female (or male) virgin is usually going to be some of the worst sex you will both ever have in your life, because being a good lover takes practice and learning. Go forth and practice!
Our guides on fingering, oral sex and sex
- Vag basics – learn female anatomy before you stick anything into it
- What ‘being a virgin’ really means
- Fingering basics for young or inexperienced men
- How to perform oral sex on a woman
- Sex 101